The Budwiser Commercial
by Black Dios
Summary: The one reason WHY Saionji and Touga aren't allowed to have a bud and watch the Superbowl. Total and COMPLETE randomness and funnyness! R&R please


Oh dear LORD! I think I was drunk or somethin....Or maybe my stupidity kicked in at the wrong moment. Hmmm.....  
  
ANANAN!!!!!!: Weird pairs and -gasp- What's this? SOMEONE HAS A JOB!?!?!?!  
  
_______________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Stretching out languidly on warm, cushiony leather, Touga flipped absentmindedly through the local cable channels. With all the money Utena made, he figured she could afford satellite. There was nothing on.   
  
"But Utena doesn't watch television," he reminded himself quietly. "She's too busy working all the time. Typing away in her office…no time to play with Tou-chan."  
  
Sighing boredly, the red bum decided to watch American football. What did they call it? The Super Cup? No, no…The Superbowl! He'd heard about the great advertising industry the U.S. had and had always wondered what it was like and why it was so special.  
  
  
  
It didn't take long before Touga was in a trance-like state, staring off into space.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Touga picked up the phone and dialed Saionji. The playboy was happy to hear from his friend and answered with an exceptionally cheery "Hello!", leaving the start of the conversation to the caller.  
  
"So," Touga drawled, "wassup B?"  
  
"Watchin' the game 'n' havin' a bud." Saionji, surprisingly, also had found nothing better on TV to watch. They had so much in common, and Saionji said so.  
  
"True, true," the red-haird duelist agreed. Touga was then about to ask his long time friend about coming over and working on their fighting techniques, when he heard Utena's voice coming from her office, shouting out something bizarre.  
  
"WASAAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
Clearing his throat awkwardly, Touga was overcome with confusion and replied, wondering if Utena was trying to communicate with him in some way. "WUZAAAAAAAHHH!"  
  
Saionji, on the other line, was now confused. He'd heard the commotion and hoped everything was okay. "Yo, who's that?"  
  
Of course it was Utena. "Yo," Touga called to her, "yo, pick up the phone!"  
  
An irritated Utena Tenjou stopped the tapping on her keyboard. Touga was such an idiot. The reason she had yelled suddenly was out of frustration…she hadn't been able to write anything decent in days. To humor the boy, and maybe to shut him up, Utena picked up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Saionji was excited now, past his earlier confusion, wanting to join in on the bellowing. Obviously, it was just a way Utena and Touga talked to each other. "WUZZEHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
Utena decided that she was officially surrounded by idiots and allowed her annoyance to show vocally. "WASAAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
Still confused, Touga chimed in. "WUZAAAAAAHHH!!!"  
  
Utena rubbed her forehead and had concluded that Touga was on the phone with Saionji. Why they were both screaming at her, she had no idea. Why wasn't Saionji busy screwing around with Akio or something? (yes they have gotten together in my story....random pairing don't blame me)  
  
"Yo, where's Dookie?" Dookie, the embarrassing nickname Utena had for her little perverted 'friend'.Damn him.  
  
Fortunately, Saionji told him, Aki-chan was there! He called out to him teasingly, "Yo Dookay!!"  
  
Akio picked up the phone at Saionji's place, amazed his Utena had stayed on that long. Usually within the first few seconds, she would hang up. She was so easily disturbed. "Yo."  
  
Why wasn't Akio keeping his famous, skitzo boyfriend away from Touga? They always get into trouble when together, managing to drive her insane. She roared angrily at Akio, threatening to kill. "WAASAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"  
  
Akio, tired of being treated like a asshole (which is EXACTLY what he is), shouted back. He usually never sassed his special 'friend', so he was little toned down. "Wuzaaaaaaaaaaaa…"  
  
Of course, being the idiots they were, Saionji and Touga added their shrieks, respectively.  
  
"WUZAAAAAAAHHH!"  
  
"WUZZEHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
At the end of that round of screaming, the two long-haired freaks were chuckling to themselves. Utena fumed. Was this a game to them? Suddenly, there was a tiny beep from the phone. Damn it, why was Nanami calling now?  
  
"Hold on," Utena growled to Akio, promising to finish what they started in just a moment. Unfortunately, there was no way to talk to Nanami without putting her on three-way. She ordered the other three brats on the line to keep their filthy mouths shut.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
The first thing Nanami did was scold Utena. It was her birthday, and she had forgotten! Not even a card!  
  
"WUUSSAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
From then on, chaos reigned. Everyone was screaming and yelling and whooping and hollering…  
  
"WASAAAAAAAA!!!""  
  
"WUZAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"  
  
"WUZZEHHHHHHHHH!!!"   
  
"Wuzaaaaaaaaaaa…."  
  
Utena was fed up. She hung up promptly, her throat sore and wanting to kill Touga but she had a deadline so she refrained. Akio also then hung up, deciding to call her back later…when he was in a better mood…  
  
The line was quiet for a little while. Touga rubbed his neck embarrassedly. Poor Utena. My sweet poor Utena. Oh and Akio but he's not that important...  
  
Saionji was ready for more, sitting on the edge of his chair, waiting for someone else to belt something out.  
  
Not knowing what to say, the crimson-haired boy said lamely, "So wassup, B?"  
  
The yelling game was over now, and Saionji sighed. He liked to play, and got sad when everything was all serious. "Watchin' the game 'n' havin' a bud." Wait a minute…hadn't he and Touga had this conversation before?  
  
"True, true," Touga agreed.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Jolted awake by his head hitting the arm of the couch, Touga rubbed his eyes. What an odd dream.   
  
Wow, the Superbowl was over already? How long had he been asleep?  
  
And then he heard it. That gruesomely inhuman howl that vaguely sounded like the phrase "wassup."  
  
But…it was coming from the TV.   
  
Oh, it was that so-called advanced U.S. advertising.  
  
What was a "bud," anyway? 


End file.
